Jordan Laubaugh

~ From the Eternal Crypts ~

☠ ✧ 🕯️ ✧ ☠

👁️ From Beyond the Veil

A spectral architect dwelling in the liminal spaces between light and shadow, summoning ethereal systems from the depths of the digital netherworld. Cursed with knowledge of terminal interfaces, condemned to forever craft retro aesthetics, and bound to modern architectures by arcane contracts signed in phosphor green.

🕯️ The Dark Chronicle

Senior Necromancer of Systems

The Obsidian Corporation • 2020 - Eternal Darkness

Raised distributed systems from the dead to serve millions of lost souls
Preserved ancient codebases in eternal slumber within the crypts
Conjured terminal interfaces with ghostly phosphor emanations
Led a coven of spectral developers through cursed deployment rituals
Banished bugs to the shadow realm using forbidden debugging incantations

Keeper of the Full Stack

Phantom Technologies LLC • 2017 - 2020

Wove web applications that persist beyond mortal comprehension
Crafted APIs that whisper secrets across the ethereal void
Performed dark rituals to extract data from the abyss
Initiated apprentices into the forbidden arts of debugging
Sealed memory leaks using protective wards and watchful spirits

Apprentice to the Shadow Engineers

The Haunted Code Society • 2015 - 2017

Erected infrastructure that withstands the ravages of time immemorial
Inscribed security protocols in blood to guard cursed knowledge
Contributed to open-source grimoires haunting GitHub's halls
Performed midnight deployments under the pale moon's glow

📚 Forbidden Knowledge

Master of the Dark Computational Arts

University of Eternal Shadows • 2013 - 2015

Specialized in distributed necromancy and cryptographic blood rituals

Bachelor of Unholy Computing

The Crypt Academy of Lost Souls • 2009 - 2013

Mastered the blackened arts of software sorcery and algorithmic curses

🗝️ Powers from the Abyss

Cursed Tongues

JavaScript/TypeScript
Python
Go
Rust
Ancient SQL

Dark Frameworks

Astro
React
Node.js
Express
Svelte

Forbidden Arts

Terminal Sorcery
Retro Necromancy
CSS Blood Magic
Gothic Architecture
Shadow Deployment

Cursed Tools

Git (version control séances)
Docker (container crypts)
Linux (eternal OS)
Cloudflare (cloud realm)
VS Code (haunted editor)

🏴 Artifacts from the Shadows

JORD-NET Information Service - A terminal portal to the netherworld
The Retro Web Archives - Preserved souls of Web 1.0
Distributed Phantom Protocol - Messages carried by restless spirits
The Eternal CRT - Terminal cursed with phosphor memories
Haunted House CV - This very document, bound in digital darkness
Community Crypt - A gathering place for the digitally damned

💀 ✧ 🕯️ ✧ 💀